Boarding groups are a social experiment and I am losing

i want to talk about boarding groups. specifically the group 4 people who stand at the gate during group 1.

The setup

there are 9 groups on this airline. NINE. the gate agent called “pre-boarding” (fine), then “group 1”, and immediately ~40 people moved forward. the screen said group 1. i was group 2. i stayed seated like an idiot.

What actually happened

group 1 boarding: about 15 legit group 1 people
the other 25: a mix of groups 3–7 who just walked up and got sent back
the getting sent back took longer than boarding group 1 itself
by the time group 2 was called, there was a blob, not a queue

The thing that gets me

it’s not even faster for them. they still sit in the same seat. the plane leaves at the same time. the only thing they gain is standing for 25 extra minutes in a jet bridge that smells like carpet.

i timed it once. gate to seat as a group 6 person who waited in the chair: 4 minutes. gate to seat for the guy who stood up at group 1 with a group 6 pass: 31 minutes.

What I want

call groups on the screen and make the scanner refuse early groups loudly. a sound. a bad sound.
seats at the gate that face away from the gate, so nobody can see the queue forming and panic.
that’s it. that’s the list.

anyway i’m group 2 again tomorrow. i will be sitting down.